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Willy and Billy
Saturday, May 12th, 2007Warthog Willy and Sidekick Billy, were a pair of silly bones,
Said Warthog Willy to Sidekick Billy, “Would you like some tea and scones?”
“Warthog Willy,” replied Sidekick Billy, “I would rather pick my nose,”
To Warthog Willy, continued Billy, “and drink from a garden hose.”
Laughed Warthog Willy, laughed Sidekick Billy. “Oh my, I do declare,”
From Warthog Willy, for Sidekick Billy, “that I would rather eat my hair!”
“Further,” Willy, carried on to Billy, “I would completely swallow my hat!”
At Warthog Willy, asked Sidekick Billy, “What would be wrong with that?”
My Brother Doesn’t Care
Monday, May 7th, 2007My mommy says she found me underneath a pickle tree.
My daddy said a stork flew in, that’s when I came to be.
My Brother doesn’t know, but he wished they never had me.
My teacher said it wasn’t true when I asked her if I hatched.
My Grandma always told me I was picked from the cabbage patch.
My Brother doesn’t care, and he’s trying to send me back.
My friends have different stories, of why and when and where,
And all we want to know is how we got to here from there.
“Where do babies come from?”, we keep asking in despair.
“Where’d we get our fingers and where do we get our hair?”
“From a store wide sale that was selling us in pairs?”
My Brother doesn’t know, but know that he does care.
Technorati Tags: pickle tree, stork flew, where do babies come from
I Knew A Man From Kalipan
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007I knew a man from Kalipan who always scratched his head,
He itched and itched a feverish pitch, until his face went red.
I knew a girl from Willowburl who wasn’t ever funny,
She always seem to have a cold, her nose was always runny.
I knew a boy from Delamoy who never quite liked school,
Been attending from the age of three and still he’s quite a fool.
I knew a lady from McGrady who didn’t like this poem,
She thought it was too silly, so she packed up and went home.
Technorati Tags: silly poem, funny poem, nonsense poem
Mandy Polyp
Monday, April 30th, 2007Mandy Polyp liked to dollop mustard on her cheese,
Said it’s great, she always ate the way that Mandy pleased.
From time to time, keep in mind, Mandy likes to eat,
Dishes odd, like candied cod and peanut buttered beet.
You don’t know, the way I know, the worst is yet to come,
Mandy likes green onion spikes, sprinkled on her gum.
Now you’ve heard, the quite absurd habits of Miss Mandy,
I invite you now, to share this cow covered in mint candy!
Technorati Tags: Mandy, cheese, peanut butter, onion spikes
Jeremiah Jollyton
Friday, April 27th, 2007Jeremiah Jollyton, a saddened soul was he,
For in the town of Hempleton, he could not drink his tea.
Underneath the oceans mark, a thousand leagues below,
His water would not boil, for too great the pressure’s so.
Hempleton, the folks thereof, were mighty big and strong,
To live so far below the sea, to them, did not seem wrong,
The taps ran ice, from pressure high, four hundred pound per inch!
So great, those folks of Hempleton, that they felt their lives a cinch.
But when it comes to drinking tea, this is where they lack.
Perplexed, they think ideas grand, for this, they had a knack.
Then, thought Jeremiah, to a mountain high atop,
He shall boil his water there, if first his ears don’t pop!
Technorati Tags: thousand leagues, below the sea, mountain, boil water