You are currently browsing the archives for the Funny category.
Tigers and Monkeys Took Over My Room
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
Just when mommy had given me the broom,
To clean up the mess all over my floor,
That got so deep, she couldn’t open my door.
Elephants and giraffes got in my way,
And stopped me from cleaning so I could play,
I tried to say no but what could I do,
When into my room marched the whole zoo.
Iguanas and eagles fought at my feet,
I had work to do but they wanted to eat,
So I said, “Enough, enough! Get out of my room!”
“My mother will kill me if I don’t clean up soon!”
Bears and big horns knocked me flat on my butt,
With all this commotion, my mom said, “What’s up!”
I must be in trouble, I am certainly doomed,
For the whole day has passed, and I haven’t cleaned my room.
Turtles turtles everywhere
Thursday, July 26th, 2007Turtles, turtles everywhere
Turtles, turtles in my hair
They’re in my soup, they’re on my bread
They’re in my shorts and on my head
Turtles, turtles on the wall
Turtles, turtles down the hall
They’re in my room, they’re on my bed
They’re on my pillow and on my spread
Turtles, turtles in my drawer
Turtles, turtles I want no more
I’ll make them leave, they won’t I dread
I fear those turtles are in my head
Toast me a Tart
Monday, June 4th, 2007There are certainly days when I don’t feel silly,
Funny or happy or plain willy-nilly.
On the days that lack a humorous start,
I get out the toaster and toast me a tart.
And once the sugar from that tart kicks in,
It gets me all giddy, puts my mind in a spin.
Until suddenly I need to break into song,
And go prancing and bouncing and dancing along.
Out the front door I sing and I dance,
While the neighbors suspect I’ve got ants in my pants.
But I don’t care, I shall do it some more,
I bound as the sweat from my brow starts to pour.
I’ll go for as long as my feet don’t give in,
I’ll dance and I’ll prance like stopping’s a sin.
My voice will go dry before I give up,
My legs will go weak when I’ve had enough.
Just when I think I could go on all day,
The truth of the matter gets in the way.
I haven’t a tart in the fridge or the drawer,
I haven’t a tart in the pantry no more.
Now I’m not happy or plain willy-nilly,
It is days like these when I don’t feel silly.
Willy and Billy
Saturday, May 12th, 2007Warthog Willy and Sidekick Billy, were a pair of silly bones,
Said Warthog Willy to Sidekick Billy, “Would you like some tea and scones?”
“Warthog Willy,” replied Sidekick Billy, “I would rather pick my nose,”
To Warthog Willy, continued Billy, “and drink from a garden hose.”
Laughed Warthog Willy, laughed Sidekick Billy. “Oh my, I do declare,”
From Warthog Willy, for Sidekick Billy, “that I would rather eat my hair!”
“Further,” Willy, carried on to Billy, “I would completely swallow my hat!”
At Warthog Willy, asked Sidekick Billy, “What would be wrong with that?”
Rather Have Resess
Wednesday, May 9th, 2007It is always so hard to wake up for school
I am so tired that I act like a fool
When I get to my desk, I am so bored that I drool
I drool so much it collects in a pool
I wait and I wait all morning for gym
I love playing dodge-ball with my buddy Tim
Last time that we played, when I threw it at him
He whipped it at me nearly breaking my limb
Next class is math and I know that’s a drag
I can’t even stand to get my book from my bag
Tim puts his hand up ’cause he likes to brag
I’d rather have recess so we can play tag
The end of the day is soon coming near
I made it through spelling and French with no fear
Though reading and writing may still draw a tear
When that last buzzer rings I’m off like a deer.